


You Must Be Joking

by NightFlare13



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-07 11:06:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18871945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightFlare13/pseuds/NightFlare13
Summary: It's been thirteen years since they travelled back in time to stop the apocalypse. It's been three years since Five and Vanya started dating. For once, everything was calm and settled and now Vanya has something to tell them that's going to put an end to that peace.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know a lot of people think relationships between Five and Vanya are incest but I personally don't think they are, but if you have a problem with it don't read. I wrote this purely to get all the Fiveya out of my system because I ship them pretty hardcore at this point. I don't honestly know what I'm doing. Enjoy!

By the time Five finally comes home, Vanya is just moments away from a power outburst. She's been waiting and waiting for hours for him to come home from work, tapping her feet and drumming her fingers and pacing in her impatience. She hasn't been able to sit still for one moment since earlier this morning, when her secret hospital visit put her in such anxious and high spirits. She's suspected it for a while, ignoring the thought of it that pressed and pressed at the back of her mind until she missed her monthly and decided to just go to the hospital. 

She only had a small inkling of suspicion, but apparently her intuition was right, because her half an hour hospital appointment ended up taking just over an hour due to unforeseen results on all of her tests. She's glad she took the day off work because she's spent all day long shopping, something she usually doesn't do unless she has to or is dragged by Allison or Klaus, but she did almost five hours worth of shopping without taking a single break.

When Five walks in the door, she's standing cooking dinner by the stove, the entire kitchen floor covered in the various bags of things she bought after her hospital appointment. Vanya can't help her giddy smile and her intense heartbeat as Five takes a few cautious, confused steps towards her.

"What's in the bags?" he asks, pulling her into his arms while trying to peer over her shoulder. She pulls him back and draws his eyes to her the moment he does, obscuring his view of the shopping. She had an entire speech practised and ready, she had her dramatic reveal and everything but her mouth has gone dry and there's a lump in her throat that she can't shift when she tries to tell him why she bought so many things. She doesn't even realise she's crying and stuttering until Five goes slightly rigid, pulling her close and tucking her head into his chest.

"V...Vanya, what is going on?" his voice shifting from curiosity to concern in seconds. She's still trying to get the words out, trying to pull him into the living room so he can sit down because she knows this is going to shock him a lot, but his hold on her is firm and after a few seconds she takes a deep breath, pulling a black and white print photo from her back pocket. She's scaring him a lot, she knows, but she's crying joyful tears and her lack of words is from nerves and emotions not upset or sadness.

Her hands are shaking when she puts the image into his palm, pulling her face from his shoulder to see his face when he realises what it is. It's not clear at all at first, but there's a tiny white blob in the blackness of the image that changes everything. Neither of them move for one second, as Five realises what's in the picture.

"You're...Vanya I-I..." she can't help but chuckle at his speechlessness, he's always so quick and always has something to say, but his mouth keeps opening and closing like he can't make sense of it, slightly like Vanya does when he starts writing down his page long equations.

"I'm pregnant," she breathes, tears spilling down her cheeks again as he pulls her tightly in, almost hurting her in the embrace. He's still clutching the picture tightly, mumbling things into her shoulder.

"I love you...I love you so much...when did you find out?" he asks as he finally pulls away from her. 

"Just this morning. They ran some tests, and they did an ultrasound and I heard a heartbeat and everything...I'm seven weeks along already." Vanya explained excitedly, her voice still chocked with emotion. It's only now does Five realise what's in all the bags on the floor, baby clothes and rattles and diapers and milk bottles, from at least a dozen different stores. They're normally very minimal spenders, even though they're not strapped for cash in the slightest with the hundreds of millions they got upon Reginald's death, but even then shopping sprees don't happen, but Vanya went all out. She tried to stick to gender neutral things like yellows and whites and cream colours until she knew what the gender was, but she got sidetracked and ended up buying blues and pinks too. 

"You're not upset? I know this wasn't planned or anything, but-"

"I don't care that it wasn't planned...God, Vanya I'm so, so happy." 

They spend the rest of the night talking and looking through the things that Vanya bought and thinking about how and when to tell the rest of their family. When they announced three months ago that they were going to get married, it had caused an intense reaction, an engagement party and gifts that are still piled up in their spare room. Soon to be a nursery, Vanya thinks.

They had no legal troubles when they looked into their marriage, because by law and by blood they had no relation. They already knew that, but when they looked under Hargreeves they found they weren't there. They didn't even have birth certificates. They all changed their surnames at 18 anyways, because Vanya is Vanya Raine and Five is Five Alexander and their siblings did some digging and chose the surnames of their mothers, but it just added another level of disgust that Reginald didn't even think to have them registered as  _human beings._ It doesn't matter now, because they are registered and their baby will be too.

Judging on their families' reaction to their engagement, the reaction to her pregnancy was going to be either deafening or five headless chickens running around a room. Probably both. Definitely both.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The typical chaos of their family is just the calm before the storm. Grace puts the final plate on the table and they all pounce into a frenzy, grabbing food and shovelling things onto plates and bickering over who took the last of something and trying to take things off each other's plates. Grace's constant beam and chuckle at the sight, Pogo's amused shake of head and Five and Vanya, holding hands under the table as they wait patiently until they've calmed down.

Luther and Diego are glaring daggers at each other, literally, as Diego turns one of his smaller blades in his fingers, just waiting for the moment Luther tries to take the last slice of pepperoni from his plate. Allison is discussing her outfit to an award show to Klaus, who is making comments on how it can be altered and what colour earrings would match best, while Five and Ben are quietly discussing how insane and chaotic this family is. Vanya's talking quietly to Grace, trying not to just tell her right now because she knows how excited she gets around babies and children.

It's nothing like how dinners used to be. They used to be calculated, silent affairs and everyone got the same portions and anyone who spoke or bickered was sent to their room without dinner and had extra training the next day. Now they meet on the weekends for dinners and they talk, they act like an actual family and Vanya wishes it could've been like this for longer.

"When are you and Dave moving in together?" Ben asks Klaus from across the table. They've managed to hold just the one conversation for a few minutes, without getting sidetracked into their own smaller ones.

"Three weeks." Klaus beams happily. Vanya's heart warms to see just how happy he is this time around. No drugs in sight, and happily dating the love of his life. It's motivating to see how far they've come. Just as Grace sits down after serving the dessert, Vanya squeezes Five's hand. They share a look as Vanya unfolds the copies of the latest ultrasound picture on her lap, taken just two days ago, and loads up the audio of the heartbeat on her phone. 

"Um, Five and I have something really important to say," Vanya's words are quiet and timid but they effectively silence everyone in the room, all eyes dead centred on her. She's normally soft spoken and prefers to listen to the conversation, so whenever she speaks up she has everyone's attention. When she sees her family looking at her, she suddenly realises how their entire dynamic will change when the baby arrives. They're all going to be fighting over who's the favourite uncle, who gives the best gifts and who gets to hold it, and the betting pools they so often make on one another are going to triple in numbers - they'll probably make a bet on every milestone the baby has. Not that Vanya minds, she loves the idea, but she's abruptly worried they might have a negative reaction to the news. It's silly, ridiculous, but it's there in the back of her mind.

"What?" Diego prompts from the other end of the table. Vanya must have gone silent for a moment, and now they're all sharing concerned glances and sitting perfectly still.

Vanya hands the picture to Five under the table, while she pulls her phone onto the table top, Five doing the same with the well handled photograph. 

"We're going to have a baby," they say, slightly out of sync as Five holds the image up, and Vanya watches all of their faces. Allison immediately starts crying, rushing out of her seat to hug Vanya tightly, her perfect make-up being smudged by her tears. Klaus is gasping and jumping all over the place, hugging the other side of Vanya and asking all sorts of questions about "Klaus Junior" which Five shuts down immediately. 

Within a minute the entire family is surrounding the pair, congratulations and tears on nearly all of them. Grace is applauding so happily it makes Vanya want to cry, and Pogo looks so proud from behind her. It's getting way too crowded around the table, so Vanya asks if they move it to the living room, which they do in an excitable rush.

It's all going perfect, Vanya thinks, just before Diego and Luther start trying to grab the picture from one another, squabbling again. Ben and Grace still haven't seen it, so Allison snatches it out of Diego's hand and passes it to Ben, who traces the image lightly with his finger. He hands it to Grace before crossing the room and pulling both Five and Vanya into a teary embrace. It's once they've all seen the picture do the questions start.

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"You can't tell yet, stupid!"

"What are you going to name it?"

"Are you moving into a bigger apartment?"

"Can I be the wine aunt?"

"Shut up, Klaus!"

"Can I go to the next appointment?"

"Oh, I'm going!"

"Me too!"

"I want to as well!"

"We won't all fit in the room, dumbass."

Vanya's trying to figure out who to answer first, her mouth opening and closing.

"Congratulations, Miss Vanya, Master Five," Pogo says from just behind her, looking exhausted from all the voices and bickering, but still smiling with pride.

"Thanks, Pogo." Vanya smiles, happy for a slight moment of calm in her family's chaos. It's once Pogo shuffles away do the questions start getting directed right at her and Five, everyone taking the couch and chairs in front of them or sitting on the floor like children themselves, talking over each other and shouting to be heard. Vanya winces slightly at the loudness of the five of them.

"One at a time, for God's sake!" Five shouts over the commotion, shutting them all up.

"How far along are you?" Allison asks from the armchair next to the fire, still smiling at the picture.

"Twelve weeks and three days, just about." Vanya smiles, tucking herself into Five's side absent-mindedly.

"Do you have a bump yet?" Klaus asks curiously from where he's sitting cross legged on the floor.

"Not really-"

"No, you do, look, see?" Five jumps in enthusiastically, lifting Vanya's sweater up slightly to show her slightly rounded abdomen. The others gasp and then they're all asking to feel it.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead. There's no kicking or anything though-" she's cut off by her siblings making awed sounds at her bump, which she rolls her eyes playfully at. There's barely anything to feel at all, and they're acting like she just told them she was expecting the Messiah or something.

"Shit, the kid's gonna rule the world with your powers," Diego chuckles from the couch. They've both been thinking about that a lot since they found out. Would it get one of their powers, or both, or none at all? Vanya hoped and prayed for the latter. She had no idea how to raise a child with powers, and knowing how terribly she responded to trying to control hers, the thought of her baby not being able to control something that isn't it's fault terrifies her.

"Oh, you have to see this!" Vanya suddenly exclaims, pressing a few things on her phone and shushing them to listen as she presses play on the audio recording she took of the heartbeat she heard on the ultrasound. The effect is immediate, Klaus and Allison start crying, and Ben and Diego tear up too, all of them crushing both her and Five in a tight embrace. After a few hours of talking and bets placed on the gender (5 for boy, 4 for girl) the others leave and Vanya and Five finally get a moment with Grace.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Vanya starts timidly as Grace sits down next to her on the couch.

"Of course, dear, go ahead," she says with her constant smile.

"Can you help me? With everything, I mean, 'cause I don't know how to do anything, and we really need your help." Vanya admits, acknowledging Five with a jerk of her head to where he's going through the bookshelves looking for things.

"Of course I will! I'll be there 24/7, I promise. I'm so excited to have another little baby to take care of. I remember when you kids were just tiny, you were so adorable!" 

Vanya stayed listening to stories from their childhood for almost half an hour, until Five practically dragged her out of the building. She knew they'd be happy, but she hadn't been expecting this much support. She just hopes they don't go completely mental when the baby actually arrives.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not expect so many hits so fast, this is my first time on this website and I've only been on wattpad and fanficion.net before, but wowowowow

Five is never far from some kind of weapon.

Ever since they teleported back, he's always had something either on him or nearby ready to grab at a moment's notice. Vanya thinks he's just paranoid, understandably so, but she's told him on countless occasions that if the Comission needed one of them dead, they've had thirteen years to do it and haven't. It's the only time he won't listen to her, because when they sleep he has one hand on her waist, holding her close, and the other hanging off the bed in case he needs to get a hold of the gun he has stashed under it.

Vanya keeps finding things around their house, guns and tasers and just last night, a can of pepper spray. Normally when she'd find one she'd just put it back in its place, not wanting to worry Five over their safety, not that she worries anyways with her powers and his combat accuracy, but now she's getting close to four months pregnant and already getting into nesting mode, and that means no weapons around the house. 

They've doubled in numbers, so whenever she finds one she puts it in the laundry basket she never uses and within one day of looking for them around the house, the basket is disturbingly heavy. When Five comes home, she's glaring right at him and emptying the contents of the basket all over the floor, the various guns and weapons and tumbling to the ground, along with things Vanya never even suspected - there's a  _grenade_ lying next to her left foot.

"Care to explain?" She meant it to sound annoyed and make him feel guilty, but her voice is fragile and she's on the verge of tears already. In accompaniment to her intense nausea and vomiting over the past two months, she's also been on an emotional trip, losing her temper at silly things and crying over nothing.

"V, I know you're annoyed, but hear me out, oka-" 

"No, Five! Why are you keeping these things around the house? I mean, seriously? A grenade? Why do you need this many guns, or a can of pepper spray in every room?" her voice is desperate now, grabbing things from the floor and tossing them back down.

"They could come at any time, Vanya, we need to be ready for it-"

"Sure, fine, keep a gun or two, put double locks on all our windows, but we're going to have a tiny baby here soon and what if they get their hands on one of these? Say it finds one of your guns and thinks it's just a toy?" Vanya is crying now, kicking things aside as she crumbles to her knees, trying not to sob but doing so anyway, letting Five wrap his arms around her as she cries.

"You're right, I'm sorry. It's just dangerous, that's all."

"What's dangerous? You never used to keep this many-"

"Our baby isn't meant to exist, Vanya. Not on their timeline. It wasn't meant to happen, and it has, and I'm, I'm scared, okay? I can't...I can't lose either of you..." Vanya doesn't think she's ever seen him so vulnerable. His cheeks are slightly pink and he almost looks like he's about to cry, but when Vanya pulls him back into a hug, she isn't expecting him to hold onto so tightly. He's clinging to her like she's his lifeline, one hand dropping to her stomach, which is even more rounded now than it was last month.

He does that all the time, now. If they're sitting on the couch, or lying in bed or he walks past her and gives her a kiss on the cheek, he'll put a hand on her belly. It's almost protective, but she'll be starting to feel kicks and small movements soon and she knows he wants to feel them.

"It's okay..." she breathes into his ear, running her hands softly through his raven hair while he holds her, his grip shaking ever so slightly. "We're okay, nobody's coming for us..."

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, V. I'll get rid of them." His voice is sincere and she believes him, but his words start to sink in slowly.

"Just keep a few. Out of baby's reach, but a few. Just in case."

* * *

 

"You can't  _all_ come in with us," Vanya giggles as the other numbers bicker over who gets to go into the appointment room with Five and Vanya. 

"I'm the only other girl,  _I_ should be going in," Allison argues to Diego.

"I promised Eudora pictures, and she'll be pissed if I don't get them-"

"Yeah, I'm with Diego, I also promised pictures." Klaus chimes in.

" _I_ am Five's best man, I should be going in-" Ben comments, sending the entire group into a loud uproar that attracts a lot of strange looks and shushes from people passing by the maternity corridor.

"I'm the maid of honour!"

"I'm Number On-"

"You wanna say that  _one more time?_ " Diego snarls, hand reaching for his knife.

"Jesus...can we just let them all in, or is there not room?" Five asks the exhausted nurse.

"It might be a tight squeeze, but I'm sure there's enough space for all of your family," she smiles, earning cheers and whoops from the group who know try to shove their way as close to Vanya as they can. It ends up with Allison and Ben in the seats next to her, Klaus, Luther and Diego nearer the door. Five's on her other side, holding her hand as she pushes her shirt up, exposing her now far more prominent belly. Allison lets out a little excited squeal when the screen in front of them flickers to life as the midwife runs the plastic wand over Vanya's gel covered abdomen.

"There we are! Looking very healthy for 20 weeks and everything seems to be developing properly!" the woman announces as they all gaze with awe at the defined head and body of the baby. 

"Wow..." Klaus breathes, tearing up fast. They all chuckle at Diego, doing the same.

"What? Not allowed to be proud of my favourite violinist?" he snaps halfheartedly, wiping away tears.

"No movements yet?" Vanya shakes her head. "They should start within the next five weeks, but that's perfectly normal. Would you like to know the gender?" The nurse asks. Definitely the wrong question to ask, because the moment she says it, the others really lose it.

Allison, Luther and Diego are really impatient, asking to know now, while Klaus, Five and Ben try to shut them up. Vanya just rolls her eyes and mouths a "No thanks, surprise," at the nurse, who doesn't seem to be fazed by the families' disagreement. Five presses a kiss to Vanya's temple, squeezing her hand gently as the sound of Diego and Allison bickering.

When they make it to their cars, they're still going on about it.

"No, look low she's carrying, she's clearly having a boy!" Allison exclaims, almost snapping somebody's wing mirror off by walking into it.

"But she had a lot of morning sickness, it's a girl!"

"No it's not! That is a boy, Diego-"

"No it isn't, it's a girl!"

"You don't know the first thing about babies-"

They finally stop when Vanya abruptly freezes, her hand dropping to the side of her bump. Five's arms are around her in a split second, his eyes wide at her pale, stunned face. She doesn't say anything, instead grabs his hand to where hers is. They both break out into huge grins.

"What is going on?" Luther asks, utterly confused.

"The baby's moving..." Five breathes out, utterly in awe. Their quiet moment is broken when the next thing they know, all of them are asking to feel it. After a couple of seconds, the baby goes still again, and only Ben actually got to feel it. The others groan.

"Why does Ben always get to go first?" Klaus whines.

"Because Ben's the only one who acts like a twenty-seven year old and not like a dumb-ass!"

* * *

 

"You love them, really," Vanya chuckles as Five pulls away behind the rest of the numbers in their car. Vanya's still trying to get the baby to move again, rubbing her hand, but there's no movements.

"Yeah, but sometimes I just really need a  _break..._ they're so exhausting sometimes..." he sighs as he reaches his hand over to her belly too, one hand on the steering wheel.

"I love you," she whispers, lacing her fingers around his on her stomach.

"I love you too. Both of you," he whispers back. 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

"Vanya wishes she'd savoured the times when the baby wasn't rolling around and kicking her, because now she's utterly exhausted, the baby kicking her constantly throughout the night. She's approaching the seven month mark, and now nesting urges are kicking in full blast and everything in their new house has been utterly baby-proofed.

There's plastic locks on all their cupboards, diapers and milk bottles stowed away all over the place. Vanya's decided the nursery has to be colour coded, but she doesn't want to find out the gender yet, so she's leaving the room neutral until the baby's born. 

None of their family have been swayed in their gender discussions, because Luther, Diego, Allison and Ben are still concrete on the baby being a boy, whereas Five, Klaus and Pogo are vehement in their decision it's a girl. Grace doesn't have an opinion, and neither does Vanya, but every time Allison comes over or goes shopping with her (almost every day, now, she's gotten that excited) she asks whether she's had any gender biased dreams. They're meant to be a big indicator, but Vanya's dreams are few in number and when they do come, it's almost even dreams about boys as it is for girls. 

The baby moves around so much now that you can actually see it rolling in her abdomen, something her family still make awed sounds at even though they've seen it countless times now. They've all been spending a lot of time at the house, because not only is Vanya getting advice from Grace and Allison a lot, the rest of the family want to see her all the time, and ask her a barrage of questions. Including one particularly lewd one from Klaus last week,  _"Is sex better now or before?"_ prompting Vanya  _and_ Five to turn beet read while the rest of them laughed their heads off. 

It's almost nine, Vanya's laying on their bed after her bath and trying to get the baby to stop moving and go to sleep, but it's been over half an hour now and nothing is working. She's tried humming, rubbing her belly, laying on all sides and angles and even singing a lullaby but another kick to her ribs reminds her that, like its father, the baby is restless and constantly moving.

She's about to call it a day and just stay awake until the baby stops kicking her all over, when Five walks in, his hair still damp from his shower. He sees Vanya's grimace, and frowns, sitting close to her on the bed.

"The baby won't stop kicking," Vanya sighs, exasperated, gesturing to her heavily pregnant belly protruding from her pyjamas. It's rippling on one side, the baby's kicks and rolls until it shifts to the other side. Vanya rolls onto her back, wincing when there's a well aimed kick to her ribs. Five holds himself up on one elbow and runs his hand over the bump.

"Shh, stop kicking your Mom...she needs to go to sleep angel..." Vanya's staring at him in complete awe, tears in her eyes. They start going down her cheeks when the baby actually  _stops_ kicking, going entirely still when Five speaks. He lays down beside her, chuckling lightly at her tears, wiping them off tenderly with his thumb. She rolls into him as best she can, tucking her face into his neck.

"That was so sw-sweet...thank you." her voice an emotional whisper.

"Has it stopped kicking?"

"Yeah," Vanya yawns as she said it, her eyes closing with her head on Five's shoulder, as he wraps his arm around her small frame, holding her protectively.

* * *

 "Hey baby mama," Allison sang as she breezed through the hallway of Vanya and Five's place, her arms open for a hug, which Vanya reciprocated, though her seven month belly did get in the way slightly. Over the past months, she's spent a lot of time with Allison getting maternity clothes, which she's going to need more of because her seven month ones are slightly too tight on her.

"How's my little niece or nephew?" she coos, rubbing her hand over the already moving bump. 

"Kicking already, it's not even nine AM yet!" Vanya laughs.

"Not long now! Have you thought about any names yet?" Allison asks as they walk out to her car, Vanya sliding into the passenger seat, only to be startled out of her mind when Klaus pops up from the back seat.

"Klaus Jr, for sure-" he laughs as Allison smacks him lightly with a hairbrush she had in the front.

"Klaus! I told you me and Vanya were going shopping, and no-"

"Not to come, yeah yeah, but I wanted to! Vanya, do you mind if I come shopping?" Klaus questions, his voice exaggeratedly innocent.

"No, you can come. I need to pick out a pram today anyway, and we might next an extra opinion," Vanya shrugs, chuckling at Klaus' excitement at being allowed to tag along.

"Okay, what do we need to buy on our shopping spree?" Klaus asks, leaning forward as they drive to the mall. Vanya, organised as usual, has a list written out, but Klaus takes it out of her hands almost immediately, tutting and shaking his head. 

"We need more than this for baby Fiveya-"

"What kind of a name is Fiveya?" Allison blurts out, laughing at Klaus' eccentricity. 

"It's Five and Vanya's ship name! Anyways, you need  _so_ many more things! Have you even gotten any pacifiers yet?" Klaus asks, taking a pen from Vanya's hand and writing down more things in messy, capital letter handwriting. 

_Pram **WITH LATTE HOLDER**_

_Rattles?_

_Baby hairbrush/comb_

_Baby monitor_

**_PACIFIERS_ **

**_NEWBORN SOCKS AND BEANIES_ **

**_SOFT TOYS_ **

**_BABY SHAMPOO AND BODY WASH_ **

**_STRAW BASKET THING_ **

"What is a straw basket thing?" Vanya asks as they park and climb out of the car. She's thankful she put on her more comfortable shoes, because they all seem too small these days and whenever Klaus and Allison go shopping, they always end up spending hours longer than intended.

"You mean a Moses basket?" Allison laughs.

"Oh, yeah, that's it! You have to have one of those too!" Klaus chimes as he almost falls through the automatic doors.

"I didn't even know I needed one," Vanya mumbles, Allison wrapping her arm around her shoulders immediately.

"Don't feel bad you didn't know, they're more an aesthetic thing anyways. You're a first time Mom, Vanya, you're allowed to not know things." Allison reminds her.

"Right. You won't let me forget anything, right?"

"Of course I won't. Baby's going to be absolutely spoiled, I'm telling you,"

"Yeah. You know Grace has a whole bassinet already, at the house? She's done one of the small downstairs rooms up like a nursery," Vanya says with a small smile.

"She's really excited, it's been a long time since she's had a baby to take care of. Now, are you  _sure_ you haven't had any dreams?" Allison asks for what must be the fourth time this week. They've all denied they have any sort of betting pools going on, but Five already knows about ones on the gender and on the birthday, which would explain all the asking about gender dreams. Their family really is crazy.


	5. Chapter 5

Vanya tried to ignore the thought when it came into her head, mid-way through her twenty-ninth week of pregnancy. It wasn't important, she told herself, but when she went to bed that night, she couldn't stop thinking about it. She tried to go to sleep and forget about the idea, but when she woke up she was thinking it over again. It was a reasonable thought to have, she told herself, to want to find her mother.

  
They'd talked about their birth mothers to each other once before. It happened when they were eighteen, and discussing what surnames they were choosing for themselves. Though Luther chose to stick with the name Hargreeves, Five chose Alexander and Vanya chose Raine, the others wanted to find the names of their birth mothers.

It was a task they were highly unsuccessful with, as in the end they found the countries they were from and nothing else, and decided to just settle with either a cultural name from their country of origin or one they simply liked. 

They'd looked all over Sir Reginald Hargreeves' old office for documents listing their birth mothers, but nothing was found and they gave up the search, deciding it wasn't a huge deal, though Vanya knew it was. It wasn't a big deal at all to her at the time. She didn't see the point in searching for a mother who gave her up, because she wanted to focus on her own new life, but now that she was about to become a mother herself she couldn't help but think about it.

How old was she? Was she an older mother, or was she younger? Did she have any children before Vanya was born, or have some after? Was she married? Vanya didn't know anything about her birth. Not even her country of origin. It made sense, she never inquired like some of the others did, but now she wondered why she hadn't. 

It didn't take long for Five to notice all her moments of spacing out, the moments spent standing in front of the mirror, not looking at her rounded bump and new stretch marks and swollen feet like she normally did, instead looking at her face, her pale skin and dark hair and brown eyes, wondering if they were from her mother. Did they inherit traits and appearances from their birth mothers?

She hadn't even realised she was staring at her hands, at her long, thin fingers until Five started waving a hand in front of her face to try and get her to zone back in.

"Sorry," she breathed when she finally looked back up to him. "Five...I want to find my-my mother." she breathed, trying to steady her shaking voice. Five looked at her, not saying anything, thinking her words through. 

"V...Diego went through that office from top to bottom, and didn't find anything. Allison even went as far as to rumour Pogo, and he didn't know of any record of our birth mot-"

"It's in his notebook. It has to be. He kept a record of us in one of his notebooks, I know it. He-he must have information on her somewhere! I mean, don't  _you_ want to find your mother?" Vanya's voice was desperate, pleading.

"I mean, it'd be nice to know where I was born and everything, but it's not like they carried us for nine months and raised us. They were just really unfortunate in whatever happened that day."

"Yeah, I know, but I want to find her, Five. Yours too, if you'd like." Five didn't really know what to say. He'd never spoken about how he thought about his mother all the time as a child. How he wondered what she'd thought of him when he was born. If she hated him, or if she didn't care and needed money. He could admit it was a good opportunity to meet her, but the chances seem unlikely anyways, and he was more in it for Vanya than himself.

"That'd be nice. Do you want to go look around the house, or-"

"Yes! Yeah, yeah I want to look in the house. Can we go now?" Vanya exclaims, full of new energy and on her feet already. 

"Now?" Five asks, a little cautious at how quickly her mood can change these days.

"Yes, now! Come on!" Vanya giggles as she practically pulls him into their car.

* * *

 "V...V, I think this is it...it's all here." Five's voice is surprisingly rough and halted, his hands clutching a deep, serpent green notebook almost identical to the red one that brought the apocalypse upon the planet.

Vanya doesn't speak, only lets out short breaths as she gently lowers herself to sitting beside Five, pulling the notebook in between them as she reads the contents of the page Five has open aloud in a vulnerable whisper.

_00.01 - 36 year old, living in London, England. Married with no previous children. Gave birth to the child in three hours, in a hospital. Was paid a sum of $225,000 for the child._

_00.02 - 23 year old, living in Malaga, Spain. Not married, with two previous children. Gave birth to the child in just over two hours, in own home. Was paid a sum of $60,000 for the child._

_00.03 - 32 year old, living in Los Angeles, United States of America. Married with no previous children. Gave birth to the child in five hours, in a hospital by C-Section. Was paid a sum of $110,000 for the child._

_00.04 - 21 year old, living in Dresden, Germany. Not married, with no previous children. Gave birth to the child in under an hour, in a college gym. Was left in badly injured but stable condition after birth. Was paid a sum of $69,000 for the child._

_00.05 - 26 year old, living in Paris, France. Engaged to be wed, with one previous child. Gave birth in hospital, in four hours, with some drugs administered. Was paid a sum of $250,000 for the child._

_00.06 - 41 year old, living in Busan, South Korea. Married, with four previous children. Gave birth in train station, in one hour. Was paid a sum of $145,000 for the child._

_00.07 - 16 year old, living in Moscow, Russia. Not married, with no previous children.  Gave birth in less than twenty minutes, on poolside. Was paid a sum of $35,000 for the child._

_"_ I'm from Russia. Moscow, Russia..." Vanya says quietly, testing out the words on her tongue. "God, she was so young...a 16 year old girl...why-why did he pay her so-so little? He paid hundreds of thousands for you and Luther and Allison, b-but her only 35..." Vanya can't get out anymore angry, tearful words as she cries softly, Five wiping her tears with the pads of his fingers on her cheeks tenderly.

"I'm so sorry, Vanya..." he says, but he's focused on the sentence next to his name. He's French. Or at least his birth mother is French. And he has a sibling, a real blood sibling. His eyes have adopted a glassy, glazed over look as he reads the words again and again.

"I want to find her. B-Before the baby comes," Vanya states as she shakily tries to stand, her bump getting in the way. Five only nods, not in any mood to turn down her request. It isn't even a request, she wants to find her birth mother and she wants him to come with her, and there's no way in hell he's saying no to that.

* * *

_6 days later_

Vanya can't believe she's here. Walking down a rainy street in Moscow, her mother's address in her hand, clutched tight between her fingers. She's walking slowly, due to both her waddling with her bump on the slippery pavement, and her heavy anxiousness to meet the woman. Five's got one arm around her, his hand clutched tightly around her arm in case she were to slip, but she manages to make it to the heavy black door just fine. 

It felt like it took an eternity to find the address, even a name. It took hours of rifling through cabinets, files and documents, hours looking up names and places in Russia online, and it's all boiled down to an address that might not even be right. 

"What's her name again?" Five asks as Vanya raises her hand to knock on the door.

"Katia. Katia Markov." Vanya breaths, her knuckles rapping on the door three times. She holds her breath as the door opens, her eyes widening to the size of saucers when she sees the dark-haired woman behind it, in her early-to mid fourties. She looks a little confused to see them, but smiles all the same.

"Здравствуйте могу я вам помочь?" the woman asks. Vanya, who isn't fluent but knows some Russian, replies.

"Привет вы говорите по-английски?" her voice shaky as her hands.

"Yes, I speak English. What can I do for you?" the woman asks, smiling still, speaking good English with a heavy Russian accent. 

"I, um...in 1989, you had a-" Vanya starts, timidly. Her hand squeezes Five's hard, clammy already. The woman's smile drops when she mentions the year, her eyes turning to the size of Vanya's when she opened the door. She starts looking behind them, her eyes scared and panicked, closing the door ever so slightly. 

"I don't know what happened that day! Please, I know nothing of the baby-" she starts, her voice loud and pleading. Vanya steps forward gently, her eyes comforting, tears already spilling over them. 

"We're not here for the baby, or for answers, I-I don't mean to scare you. I-I was it a girl? The baby you had on the 1st of October?" Vanya asks, her hands slowly calming and her heart rate levelling off as she realises that the address was right after all.

"Yes, yes, a baby girl. She isn't here-" the woman starts, but Vanya cuts her off, taking yet another step forward, almost into the house.

"I-I believe...I believe  _I'm_ the-the girl...you sold me to Reginald Hargreeves, right?" she breathes, and within a second, the woman has flung the door open, and has pulled her arms around Vanya tightly, hardly noticing her swollen belly, crying and sobbing as she pulls her out of the rainy doorway and into the house. Vanya hugs her back, crying too. 

"I-I'm so, so sorry...I didn't want to give you up, I'm sorry, I-I didn't know what to do-" the woman stammers, finally pulling back to look at Vanya's face, her hands tenderly cupping her cheeks. She's barely taller than Vanya, and she has the same dark hair, the same pale skin. She really is her mother.

"It's okay, really...I'm so happy I found you," Vanya says through her tears. The woman suddenly realises Five's still standing just under the doorway, her smile replaced as she ushers them both into the living room just next door to the hallway.

"Please, please come in!" the woman says cheerfully, wiping away her previous tears as Vanya and Five shed their jackets and shoes and step inside. The place is decorated simply, but what Vanya does see is that there's a stack of magazines and newspapers next to the TV, of the Umbrella Academy. Every time they saved the day somewhere, it ended up on the front page, and her mother has every one. Vanya doesn't need to ask why she has them. She probably wondered why Vanya was never in any of the articles.

It's when Vanya sits down next to her on the couch, does the woman gasp loudly. 

"Oh, wow!" she breathes, looking up and down between Vanya's belly and her eyes. "Can-Can I?" Katia asks, placing her hand very gently on Vanya's abdomen with tears in her eyes, one hand over her mouth in shock. "I-I can't believe you're here...I thought you were d-dead! He did call you Vanya, didn't he?" the woman asks, a sudden anger filling her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm Vanya. You're Katia, right?" Vanya asks, the woman nodding. Five's grinning at them, though neither notice as he takes a picture of them both laughing and crying at the same time.

"Oh, this is Five, my fiancee!" Vanya suddenly blurts out, turning to look at Five who's leaning forward to shake Katia's hand, though she pushes it away and pulls him into a hug instead.

"It's nice to meet you, Five." she chuckles, her smile permanent with joy at being reunited with her daughter.

* * *

 

"He offered me a lot of money. It wasn't anything to him, but to me it was a lot. I-I was so confused, one minute things were normal and the next you were there! I wasn't going to give you to him at first, but my mother insisted. You were shameful, she said, but you were not shameful, you were a beautiful baby! You've grown to be a beautiful lady too," the woman recounts tearfully, giving her daughter a fond smile as she remembers her tiny infant. "I knew you were special, but I didn't think you would have superpower!" the woman laughs with Vanya, who can tell she is trying her best to speak correct English.

"Did I...did I ruin your life?" Vanya whispers, her voice heavy with emotion. 

"Goodness, no! My parents thought I was a disgrace, and they threw me out, but my boyfriend and his family took me in. We got married, and we have two children, two girls. They're at school right now. You have to meet them!"

"I'd love to!" Vanya smiles. They don't leave for their hotel for another four hours, the two women enraptured in their conversation. When they do get back, Vanya doesn't say anything, just tackles Five in a tight hug. 

"Thank you," she breathes, as the baby kicks up a storm.


End file.
